Back to December
by huntermoreno
Summary: Everything in the past few days has been a blur. Eli Goldsworthy literally couldn't even begin to fathom that Julia was gone. The worst part? It was all his fault. But when he's out one night, searching for solitude, he runs into the most unlikely person


**Back to December  
Chapter One: A Little Bit Stronger**

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or any of the characters. If I did, would I really be writing fanfiction about it?

**Author's Note:** I might get shot for not shipping Eli/Clare in this Fanfiction, but I think the couple is very unusual and interesting, so maybe I will earn a few fans that way? Anyway, I'll probably be switching back and forth between first and third person from time to time, and the paragraphs in italics are Eli's memories. All of the chapter titles will also be song titles. Back to December is the title of Taylor Swift's new song, and I have this story set in December, so I thought it would be fitting. I hope you enjoy this!

-

Just like that, the closest person to me was gone.

But was she really the closest person to me?

I've thought it over so many times. I've sat here and stared at this picture for a long time, mulling over different thoughts in my head. I think I've gone through more stress in the past few days than a 50 year old man. Then again, I've probably worn wrinkles in my face as if I'm that old. Wisdom lines? Something more clever? Either way, it's all changing me. I've got no clue as to what to do. I've got no clue as to what I'm even supposed to do. This is all my fault. It's more than my fault. I've ended the life of a perfectly amazing girl without even thinking twice. That was where I killed my girlfriend.

This is where I buried her.

Elijah Goldsworthy wasn't the kind of boy to blame himself for things aimlessly. 99% of the time, if he blamed himself for something, he had every reason to. This time was no different, or so he thought. Maybe if things hadn't gone out of control, gone haywire, then maybe she'd still be here to tell him it was okay. This time, it wasn't okay. He wasn't going to go back to Julia's house in a few hours and apologize for his egotistical ways. He was simply going to go to this new school, where he was supposed to cope with the death of poor Julia just a little better. Either way, Eli was pretty sure he was going to want to end his life too. Why should he get to go on living when they fought so horribly? It was all his fault..

_"Eli, please! Can't we just talk about this?" The small girl shouted, practically cowering under Eli. "Can't we please – baby, please let's just talk?"_

__

"Talk? How can I even face you right now? You run off and hang out with some other guy... It's pointless. Talking is pointless. Talking is going to get us nowhere." He couldn't yell at her no matter how hard he tried. Even after what he'd just found out, Eli couldn't find the nerve to hurt Julia. The way her eyes were filled with tiny tears, the way she pouted and tried so hard to stay strong... it all attracted him. Of course he was angry, he was hurt.

Julia stared up at Eli, blinking back the tears. "Nowhere? So it's okay for you to push me away for making a simple mistake, but it's not okay for me to hang out with another boy? It doesn't make sense to me, Eli Goldsworthy. We were just hanging out! I never did anything with him. What's getting us nowhere is you getting your underwear in a bunch and acting like a pre-pubescent baby." She sneered, sticking her nose up in the air.

"Just hanging out? Jules, just hanging out is fine, but that boy..." He trailed off, practically kicking at the ground. "That boy does not just want to hang out with you. He wants to do more than that. Have you not seen him with every other girl in the grade? Hell, even the whole school? Are you that blind? Do you really think he wants to hear about your stupid poetry or songs?"

"You-" She paused to look away from Eli, gulping down the lump in her throat. "You think they're stupid?"

"They are stupid."

"You're stupid."

_"Is that the best you can do? Fine, Jules. You're not ballsy enough to do it? I am. We're done." He narrowed his eyes at her. "Go slut around with Declan Coyne. Make sure he gets you pregnant too."  
__  
_Were those really the last words he ever said to her? He'd been too angry to talk it out. Eli knew every well that Julia hadn't done anything with Declan, at least not yet. Hell, the boy didn't even go to the same school as them. How had they even gotten together? He was baffled, to be honest. The thoughts ran through his mind constantly. He just wanted to know what would have happened if he would have acted like a normal human being to Julia that night. He shook his head, continuing his stroll in through the park. It was December, so it was fairly chilly. It was nearly midnight, and Eli thanked the Lord for the fact that no one was out here. At least, he didn't think anybody was out here... until he tripped over them.

"Oops! Silly old me, just laying around on the ground from time to time. Let me just – let me just get up," The girl grabbed onto Eli's arm, attempting to pull herself up, but failing miserably. "Hey! You're a horrible railing! I didn't know if you knew that. Wait-" She finally stumbled to her feet, smoothing out her dress and picking up her stillettos from the ground. "You're kind of a cute railing though."

"Shh, you're drunk."

"What?"

"I said you're drunk."

Perfect, just what Eli needed. All he'd wanted was some solitude and he'd tripped over a drunk girl. He could smell the champagne on her breath. Little rich girl. He steadied her, raising a brow at her. She was pretty, but drunk out of her mind. "Do you need me to walk you home?"

"Oh no, I can find my way there! Thanks anyway!" She giggled after that, placing both of her hands on Eli's face. "You look like a girl." She giggled again, then steadied herself on Eli's shoulders. The girl started to walk away, only to wipe out onto the sidewalk. "Oh dear... it seems I can't even walk straight." Instead of giggling, the girl simply started hiccuping. She pulled herself over to a bench. She leaned up against it, laying her head back and resting it on top of the bench. "Hey... emo boy? Do you have a bucket?" She asked, biting down on her bottom lip. "I'm not feeling too great," She felt a wave of nausea, nothing new.

Eli raised a brow, shuffling over to the girl and sitting down on the bench, her head resting next to his leg. "Nope, sorry. I didn't bring my barf bucket with me tonight," He admitted, giving her a sarcastic, dark looking smile.

"Cool, I'll just puke over here away from you, okay Emo boy?" She turned her head, hiccuped once more, before the contents of her stomach emptied out into the grass.

For some strange reason, Eli felt obligated to hold her hair back. What even was this? Again, all he'd wanted was to have some quiet. He held the girl's long hair back, waiting until she was finished, but making sure he looked away.

The girl wiped her mouth, pulling herself to her feet and up on the bench. "S-sorry," She stuttered, feeling the tears come to her eyes.

"Here," Eli pulled a piece of gum out of the packet in his pocket. "Take this. Trust me, you need about twelve, but one will suffice for now."

She took the piece of gum, chewing on it contently. "Thanks," She replied with a sniffle.

"Since I just watched you barf your guts out... I'm going to need to know your name. For black mailing purposes,"

The girl chuckled, looking over at Eli. "Fiona." She responded. "Fiona Coyne."

Let me know what you think! Do you love it, do you hate it? Tell me everything!


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